Tucked in. Tucked away.

Out of sight. Out of mind.
I can still hear you.
Too late. Good night.
Smiling makes you let me alone.
Can't stay for long. Others to see.
Here for too long. Cant see the others eye to eye.
Thanks for being here.
Thanks for leaving me by myself. Friday night.
You must be tired.

Rediscoveries

Discoveries are so beautiful. They're personal creations and highly intelligent interpretations of circumstances, surroundings, peoples, lands, science, whatever you observe, whatever you reflect. Discoveries can be made everywhere. They're beyond explanation and a million people can make the exact same discovery in the exact same circumstances, and it is thoroughly original every single time.

Rediscoveries are a repeat. Rediscoveries are great. When you discover something that you once had before, you see that there is a whole inside of you that has an IDENTICAL shape to the (re)discovery in front of you.

I rediscovered this blog. I didn't rediscover it today. I rediscovered it within the past few months as I recognized the missing piece in my life called "creative writing." Today I'm exploring it further as I write this little message to the few of you who may or may not still follow my blog.

What a wonderful emotional release it is to share earnestly the goings-on in my mind and in my world with the words that awaken within me while I look at this page waiting for my input. When I first began this blog, I was in a high stress period of my life. I needed highly-structured routines and had none. I needed attention and justification from others.

As I continue to explore and rediscover blogging, I'm so excited to share another portion of my life with words that nobody else has ever strung together in the exact same sequence that I will.

Favorites:
cheap beer: Miller Lite
color: it's still green
apple: pink laday apple
mixed drink: house drink (wouldn't you like to know?)
nail polish color: wet'n'wild's magnetic effects philadelphia eagles green
pandora station: "What Would You Do?" by City High station
apartment mate: duh! Lizzie.

Will Smith. that's what's up.

So you all know that I love Will Smith. I respect his family ethics. I appreciate his professional talents.("is it the sales? 20 mil. Is it the car? Bentley. Is it the women? Jada. Is it the money? Please...") And I LOVE his dance moves (see Fresh Prince of Belair). I enjoy most movies in which he stars. Today I'm referencing the popular romantic comedy Hitch. In Hitch's basic principles he gives some universal advice. "Begin each day as if on purpose." Well let me tell you: when I wake up at 4:45, it certainly isn't by accident, but today I don't work. That's why I slept in until.. (drum roll please).. 7:30. When my feet hit the floor, it's on purpose, and hopefully many things after that follow suit.

Another basic principle: no woman wakes up saying "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!"

So true. Today, for me, is absolutely no exception to this rule. I'm rather open to it, in fact. But don't tell the man with the broom. He can work for it. He can "try harder, stupid."

Lyrics- best of me by Jason aldean

Cause there ain’t nothing like a memory
When it’s coming on strong like a hurricane
How can love like that just up and walk away
It’s killing me baby
It’s got me pouring up another drink
Bourbons hittin me hard like a freight train
With my back against the wall or on my knees
When the worst of your memory gets the best of me

You and me

You're a fool for breaking me.
You're a fool for calling me your baby doll.
You're an even bigger fool for treating me like a baby doll.
I'm a fool for letting you.
I'm a fool for wearing the jewelry you gave me.
You're a fool for making me yours in the first place.
I'm a fool for not moving on.
I'm a fool for trying.
You're a fool for letting me go.
You're a fool for loving me.
I'm a fool for believing it.
You and me. We fooled me.

Stink Bug

Stink Bug, where you going?
Stink Bug on the Wall, what are you doing?
Stink Bug on the Green Bathroom Wall, do you observe me as much as I observe you?
Stink Bug, why did you stop moving? Are you dying?
Stink Bug on the Wall, will you fulfill your purpose in your remaining hours, or days?
Stink Bug on the Green Bathroom Wall by the Ceiling, you kinda match my shower curtain.
Stink Bug, do you hear the second song in a row that reminds me of him?
Stink Bug on My Wall, why are you here?
Stink Bug on My Green Bathroom Wall, is it hot up there by the ceiling? Does the steam from my shower bother you?
Stink Bug, are you dead?
You're kind of ugly.
Big Daddy Stink Bug, do you remember that time five minutes ago when you were walking along my wall? I do.
I think you're dead. Please don't come in my bedroom tonight.
I see that you just moved again.
Stink Bug on My Green Bathroom Wall by the White Ceiling above the Window, I'm leaving the bathroom now because I've realized I'm crazy for talking to you.
Goodbye.

Keep Watching Me Fail.

Applying for jobs is a brutal task. Many of you know this. Searching for a job is a full time job in itself. Today, I applied for a job at the athletic club where I worked after highschool. It's part time and close to my parents' house.

Standing in the shower with warm water hitting my skull and loud music and steam filling the small room, I had a very important change of attitude. I remembered that I'm going to succeed, I remembered that I have a lot of potential and will make it very far in my life. Oh, and by the way, I won't be piddling around here forever in my parents' house. Right, that's so true, I will grow up sometime.

I was proud of this moment. I renewed my motivation and I believe myself to be more ready to hit the job hunt hard and with no relent. I am curious to see how my life will turn for the better in the future. Until then, watch me fail and fail and fail. And keep watching, because I'm going to keep trying and it's going to pay off.